After well over a decade working as a caddie at Royal County Down, it's safe to say I've seen just about all there is to see - both good and bad. I've previously written about the 4 craziest things I've seen whilst looping around one of the best golf courses in the world but one particular incident in September last year, one of my final rounds as a caddie, will live with me forever.
I'll set the scene - it's the Tuesday after the 2025 Irish Open. Some 48 hours earlier, Rory McIlroy's 15ft eagle putt on 18 slowly slid past the hole to crown Rasmus Hojgaard as the champion. Little did I know, the drama on the 18th would continue even after the pros had jetted off.
Tasked with taking down the likes of grandstands, merch tents and scoreboards, DP World Tour staff were scattered around the course working away while regular players teed it up post-tournament.
The scene on the 18th hole at Royal County Down during the Irish Open
On that Tuesday I was lucky enough to caddie for Brian (I think that was his name? If it wasn't and you're reading, I'm very sorry... Brian?). He, like many of the people I've caddied for at RCD, was both lovely and, without sounding disrespectful, out of his depth a little.
Brian was enjoying but losing the battle against the course that day, but there is no shame in that - Royal County Down is a very hard golf course.
As we reached 18, he smashed a drive down the right side of the Par 5 18th fairway, the longest hole on the course.
"Position A, Brian", I told him as we reached his ball. Then the tactical discussions began.
18 is a hard hole and to go for the green in two is very much risk-reward considering around a dozen bunkers and thick rough line both sides of the fairway upon your approach.
"We've got 240 front. You've been ripping the 3 wood all day. We should send it Brian...."
It was the perfect time to roll out one of the best caddie cliches:
"You didn't come all this way to lay up, did you?"
Damn right he didn't. Off came the headcover. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going for it.
As mentioned, the infrastructure was still up around Royal County Down - a hospitality tent lined the right side of the hole and a grandstand wrapped around the green.
Two construction workers were banging away at the scoreboard about 150 yards away in the left rough, with their van parked slightly—but not fully—out of sight from the fairway near the TV studio. Can you see where this is going?
As I handed the wood to Brian I looked at the van.
'Aye, surely not....' I said to myself in my head, cycling through possible scenarios.
Here we go then. The line was decided, just left of the flag at the woman's clubhouse. Let's make a memory, Brian...
When the club left the club face there was truly only one place it was headed - and it wasn't the green.
Do you ever make a mistake and immediately just put your hands to your head without even realizing? It's like an acknowledgement that something is about to happen and you're absolutely powerless to stop it.
Brian's ball started roughly 30 yards left of target. It was flying no higher than 6ft in the air and seemed magnetically drawn to the passenger side window of the workers van.
Through pure instinct, I immediately found my hands on top of my head like a sports coach who has just watched his team blow the game in the final seconds.
The sound of glass smashing rippled through the air. The violent noise of the glass was then replaced by silence. The banging noise the construction workers were making on the scoreboard ceased and both slowly turned around to witness what had happened.
Not a word was said in our group as eight of us attempted to digest what we had just seen.
"Well, you hit it well at least," I joked with Brian, attempting to lift the dread off his face.
The window was no longer.
"Don't worry about it mate, I'll speak to them", I said, absolutely not wanting to speak to them.
By the time I trudged over and reached the van, both workers were there assessing the damage.
I offered my sympathies to the situation by delivering a perfect "Ah, sorry lads" before departing. I'm here to give yardages and read greens, not to settle insurance disputes.
They also maybe shouldn't have parked their van 10 yards to the left of a fairway, but I kept that point to myself.
Being the professional I am, my attention then turned to Brian's ball. Where the hell was it?
Turns out, Brian had perfectly calculated the angle at which the van window was facing us because his ball then lay in the middle of the fairway, roughly 120 yards from the green.
"Perfect layup mate", I joked with Brian, his skin still bereft of any sort of color.
"I was hoping that would be a memorable shot for you", I added, "and it was! Just not in the way I had imagined. Let's make a memorable par".
And so we did! After Brian flushed a wedge into the middle of the green and it felt like all was forgotten. He would two putt for what was both a very comfortable but also extremely uncomfortable par, both at the same time.
To this day I don't actually know what happened to the van in terms of paying for the damage, although I did see it the next day with duct tape filling in the now-missing window. Thankfully it was parked in a safer place this time...
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