A couple of years ago, I had my first correspondence with Lawrence Bond when an email popped into my inbox inviting me to his company’s charity golf day. I politely declined – we’d love to support every event we’re invited to, but it simply isn’t viable.
I was intrigued, though, and his assertion that it would be the wackiest golf day I’d ever attend did pique my interest somewhat. I asked him to send me pictures and videos afterwards and what I saw was unlike any golf event I’d taken part in before.
So, earlier this year when the invite popped into my inbox, I didn’t hesitate to accept and I also brought along a photographer to capture the festivities. I’m so glad I decided to attend, because I can’t remember a more fun-fuelled, unconventional and downright bonkers experience on the golf course.
Pink bunting adorned the clubhouse at Essendon
When I arrived at Essendon Country Club, I got a sense of what to expect on the drive to the clubhouse. Pop-up cardboard figures, including Donald Trump and Borat, guided participants to the car park, while pink signs, inflatables and carpet led everyone inside.
Pink was very much the theme of the day. Participants were all asked to wear pink garments and the colour scheme was a constant throughout, from the bunting to the cocktails and even the dyed pink sand on the par-5 9th hole.
The day, put on by Lawrence Bond from recruitment firm BondMoran, aims to raise as much money as possible for breast cancer charity Future Dreams, a cause very close to the organisers’ hearts.
It’s dubbed ‘The Alternative Open’ and that description is very apposite indeed – it's pretty much as different from the Open Championship as it's possible to get.
The man with the vision: Lawrence Bond of Bond Moran (right) with Nick
"When I opened the doors on my new business in 2016, my wife Dani was recovering from her own breast cancer journey, hence my pink logo. To raise awareness and much-needed funds for the charities who supported her, the BondMoran Golf Day was born!
“Ever since, I’ve run our annual event at Essendon Golf and Country Club, where they allow us to, quite literally, turn the course pink, raising funds and awareness for an incredibly worthy cause.
“Having seen so many traditional golf days over the years, I wanted to do things differently. I wanted the overriding feeling to be uplifting, fun and full of surprises, whilst also playing at a fantastic venue.
“The event started as a slightly quirky golf day and has snowballed year on year to become the extravaganza that we saw this summer.
"Maybe the organised chaos is reflective of my mind and I generally come up with my ideas by looking at what’s fun, interactive and not normal on a golf course or a ‘traditional’ golf day.”
Indeed, no stone had been left unturned in an effort to provide the best day possible for the guests. On arrival, I was directed to my table, where I was greeted by a cardboard caricature of my face, a personalised welcome pack and course planner and a bucket hat with my face all over it.
There was also an auction brochure, with entrants able to bid on 100 incredible items, from signed football shirts and four-balls to activities and exotic holidays.
Amazingly, the cost of the day had all been covered by Lawrence and his team – the golf, the food, the drinks and all the extra touches out on the golf course. All he asked in return was for participants to donate as much as they were able to.
His generosity and desire to make a difference was genuinely touching – the day would easily have run into the tens of thousands of pounds.
Have you ever seen a giant pink bear on the golf course before?
On to the course...
After a superb breakfast, a briefing from Lawrence and a touching speech from his wife, Dani, I headed to the 10th tee with my four-ball team for the day – Glen Menezes, Dan Self and Duncan East – for the shotgun start.
One of the elements was the team ball, where one player per hole could register scores until said ball was lost – a rather entertaining and nerve-inducing sub-plot.
The 10th hole was straightest drive, and while no one managed to come remotely close from our team, we did keep the communal ball in play and I somehow made a birdie three – quite a redemption story given I’d taken an actual air shot the last time I’d played this hole.
On the 11th tee, we were greeted by a bespoke ice cream maker, who knocked me up a Maltesers ice cream from scratch as someone in a full-body Tiger costume roamed around.
On the tee of the par-5 12th, a professional long driver stood poised for action. If you made a charity donation, the team could play their seconds from where his ball came to rest. It was a no brainer, but sadly, despite the 340-yard head start, our group played the hole in five-over-par.
As we progressed round, we couldn’t believe how much thought had gone into all the extra touches on literally every hole – they were a combination of weird, wacky and wonderful.
After taking our tee shots on the par-3 13th with either a putter, a persimmon wood or a kid’s club, we arrived at the par-4 14th, where a sign warned us to ‘beware the troll’.
A few moments later, despite having some idea what was coming, the four of us jumped out of our skin when an under-bridge dweller leapt out at us as we were crossing. Cue another donation and plenty of laughter.
There was a surprise waiting under the bridge on the 14th hole
Laughter was prevalent on the next tee, too, as four men of varying body shapes attempted to play a shot with a bra on. The results were mixed to say the least!
The entertainment kept on coming all the way to the clubhouse. We dressed up as Happy Gilmore and took on a hitting challenge on the 16th tee, enjoyed cocktails on the 17th and threw balls at a target on the 18th tee – if we hit, the unlucky volunteer in the adjacent plunge pool would be dunked into the drink.
On the back nine – our front nine – there was plenty more to keep us enthralled. I’m not sure I’ve ever hit a tee shot with a Mariachi band playing after drinking tequila from a hollowed-out golf ball, and I know I’ve never ridden a mechanical bull on a golf course before. I’ve also never had an opportunity to win an Aston Martin for a hole-in-one.
A mariachi band played by the 1st tee
The rest of the round was a blur of colour and amusement, with fake snakes, candy floss stalls, jousting and massive pink bears all making an appearance.
We somehow managed to knuckle down and finish second in the team competition, but absolutely no one taking part was bothered about winning. We were just thrilled to be participating.
When we returned to our table in the clubhouse, jerseys adorned with our surnames were draped off the back of our chairs as we enjoyed a fabulous BBQ lunch, listened to a presentation from Future Dreams and applauded the various prize winners.
It was without doubt the most enjoyable, mad, wacky, idiosyncratic and brilliantly organised golf day I’d ever been a part of, and my playing partners agreed.
Some had more success on the bucking bronco than others...
'Nothing short of incredible'
“I’ve never been to a better golf day and the amount of work that Lawrence and his team put into it is nothing short of incredible. The attention to detail is remarkable” said Glen.
“You won’t find a more entertaining golf day anywhere. I genuinely look forward to it every year and Lawrence and his team deserve so much credit for their organisation, creativity, vision and generosity,” added Dan.
The final member of our four-ball, Duncan East, summed it up perfectly: “I’m just in awe. I’ve never seen anything like it. I can’t recommend it highly enough.”
To make a donation, please follow this link. To register your interest for next year’s Alternative Open at Essendon, which takes place on July 9th, email lawrence@bondmoran.co.uk
Bras were required for the tee shot on the 15th hole
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