Diary Of A Secret Club Golfer: Stop Living Out Your Dreams Through Your Children

I first picked up a golf club at the age of seven and, since then, the sport has played a big part in my life, as evidenced by the fact I'm writing about it here!

Junior golf was my favorite time. After being dropped off in the summer, 18 holes of golf in the morning was followed by a bowl of cheesy chips and a Diet Coke for lunch.

Putting games were the order of the day post-food, while a race against the light would result in playing as many holes of golf as possible before being picked up and returning home.

I loved that period of my life and one of the reasons is down to the relaxed, stress-free environment, something I think is so important for young golfers if they are to continue enjoying our great sport.

Listen To The Professionals

I'm not the only person to think this. Look no further than three-time Major winner Padraig Harrington.

Speaking back in January 2025, Harrington offered some words of wisdom on encouraging children to develop a lifelong love for the game.

"Just let them have fun. Let them just smash it, find it and have fun getting it in the hole," stated Harrington.

"We're old and we're trying to get our kids as good as they can be, quickly. That's because we don't think we have time, but if you send your kids out, they'll get there at their own pace, they'll figure it out.

"We are so anxious and want them to do this straight away. They have time, so we should just leave them and let them do the mistakes, and if they ask you, that's good, but don't get into it."

"Just Let Them Enjoy It"

"Even with my own kids I'd be aware of this and I'd be telling them that, but they would always tell me if I told them something they took as a criticism. Even if I was helping them, they would take it as 'I'm doing something wrong.'

"You're better off letting them make the mistakes as they have time, they have so much time. Our clock is out, we think 'get better right now.'

"Just let them enjoy it, bring them to a stress-free environment, bring them home before they get tired. Try and take them away whilst they're enjoying it, rather than waiting until they're not enjoying it."

Along with that interview, Harrington also spoke about junior golf recently on The Late Late Show (you can hear his thoughts below).

Although I'm not a father, I have grown up playing junior golf, and I'm happy to say that when I was younger my parents weren't pushy when it came to me practicing or playing competitively.

If I wanted to go to the course, they would do their best to take me. If I didn't want to go, then they wouldn't.

But when I turned up at tournaments, I would see other types of parents. It was almost like they were trying to live out their dreams through their children.

It was embarrassing watching them argue and scold their child because they had put a tee shot into the water, or missed a five-foot putt. They're human, of course they're going to make mistakes.

This is still something I see at golf clubs in 2026 and I find it quite unsettling. It's hardly as if all the parents dishing out criticism are plying their trade as professionals.

Golf teaches a lot of useful life skills. You have to understand etiquette and practice good manners; you have to wear smart clothes and present yourself properly. It's a game you never master, but you can learn from your mistakes.

All of these aspects can go into everyday working life, so why associate golf with negativity? Why put so much pressure on young golfers, who are already going through a difficult period of their lives?

Golf Is A Mental Game

Golf is a game that tests the mind at every turn. Yes, you can buy your child the latest equipment and provide them with the best coaches to give them the foundations to succeed, but one point that isn't thought about enough is what goes on in their head.

Of course, good equipment and instruction can massively help, but if you're not allowing young golfers to enjoy the game and constantly imposing your thoughts and feelings, what's the point?

Allow juniors to enjoy the game. Don't put your dreams onto their shoulders. If they want to pursue the game further and play it more seriously, then let them. If they want to use golf as a way of socializing and switching off from other troubles, then let them!

Everybody is different and should be allowed time to build an identity, both on the course and off it.