7 Unwritten Women’s Golf Rules That Need To Disappear

When I speak to female non-golfers, there is still a huge amount of obvious stigma attached to the game that stops them from giving it a go. The usual excuses come up: “It takes all day,” “I can’t play golf until I’m retired,” and “It’s too expensive.”

For me, those are just standard excuses from anyone who isn’t yet interested in taking up the game. The real issues start once someone has tried golf, fallen in love with it, and wants to progress.

The real killers are the unwritten rules that many clubs still abide by, rules that stop beginners and new female golfers from progressing onto membership or regularly playing the course. Women don’t need golf made easier or more appealing; they need clubs to adapt and make the game feel fresh and inclusive.

Here are my top seven gripes that I hear all the time from both new and established golfers. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments at the bottom of this article.

Now You Can Hit A Ball, You Should Join As A Full Member

A number of beginners give up simply because they are pointed towards a full membership that doesn’t fit their lifestyle. Straight out of lessons, many golf club members assume that a full or 5-day membership is the natural next step. But someone who has only had six golf lessons isn’t necessarily ready to commit to traditional club life or pay for a 7-day membership.

There needs to be a clear pathway, which is often missing. An ideal progression would look like this:

Try golf → Beginner programme → Social golf → Flexible membership → Regular membership → Competition

Not: Try golf → £££ Full Membership → Sink or Swim

England Golf’s 2026 workshops specifically identify time, accessibility, and value for money as major barriers. Clubs are being actively encouraged to create structured pathways rather than treating full membership as the immediate next step.

OLD UNWRITTEN RULE: After a few lessons, there’s an underlying expectation that you’ll upgrade to full membership.

NEW RULE: Membership should meet a golfer where she is, not demand she become someone else first. Every facility needs a visible pathway that caters to differing needs, even if that means local facilities working together to cover all bases.

You Need To Know The Etiquette Before You Turn Up

Golf rules and etiquette make many women fear going out on the course because they don’t want to get told off. This applies equally to junior golfers, and I firmly believe nobody should have to learn golf club culture by accidentally breaking it.

I make this a central part of my coaching. The fear of going on the course is removed because we spend lesson time on the course itself, answering the practical questions every beginner wonders about:

Where do I park and where do I go?
What tee do I use, and can I wear this?
Who do I ask for help?
What happens if I lose my ball or hold people up?
Do I shake hands at the end?

If we don't address these questions in lessons, every round becomes a test the new player feels she is failing.

OLD UNWRITTEN RULE: Learn our unwritten etiquette by trial and error (and risk getting scolded).

NEW RULE: Every club pro coaches etiquette as part of their lessons so golfers learn without feeling silly. Clubs should offer a simple "How this club works" orientation and make asking questions completely normal.

Ladies’ Day On Tuesday Morning

Ladies’ day is traditionally midweek, but why should golf only happen when the club has always offered it? When clubs complain they have no female members under 50, this is usually why.

Clubs cling to ladies’ day, but it often leaves working women with few competition options. If you can’t play on that specific weekday, you can end up feeling practically ostracised.

Every day should be member's day, and every member should feel welcome to play at any time. The "Saturday morning boys' club" shouldn't exist anymore - you know the one I mean! If I drive past the 1st tee of my local club on a Saturday morning, it’s a sea of men. Rarely do I see a woman teeing off or waiting to do so. It creates a male-dominated atmosphere that is easily enough to intimidate any woman looking to play on her weekend.

Unequal access to prime weekend tee times remains an issue. Men often hog the Saturday morning slots, partly because the existence of midweek ladies' day makes it accepted. It’s time to ensure working women and younger players get equal access to prime times.

If I were running a club, I’d encourage female members to get out there in those Saturday slots, showing others that they can enjoy a great game with any group without imposter syndrome.

OLD UNWRITTEN RULE: Female golf happens during midweek morning slots.

NEW RULE: A golfer shouldn’t have to reorganise her life around the club; golf must fit around women’s lives.

You’re Female, So You Belong In The Ladies’ Section

This assumption is too often the undoing of member retention. I strongly believe clubs need to mix up their membership regularly. Men, women, seniors, and juniors should play together and learn from one another.

I’ve seen mixed play work brilliantly, and I’ve also seen how damaging it is to young female golfers when it isn't an option. Women usually pay the same membership fees as men, yet often face far more restrictions, sometimes imposed by the women’s section itself.

It's time to normalise mixed golf and open competitions for everyone across both weekdays and weekends. Giving everyone the opportunity to play alongside female golfers, especially juniors, helps eliminate the casual sexism inherent in many traditional environments. Teaching the next generation to see mixed golf as standard is the way forward.

Furthermore, joining a club shouldn't force you into competitive golf. A new member doesn’t automatically want medal play, handicap pressure, or competitive rounds every week. She might simply want to:

Play 9 holes with friends and enjoy a coffee afterwards
Practise or play socially with her partner
Bring another beginner along without keeping score

The PGA has highlighted competition pressure as a key deterrent for new female golfers, recommending that clubs offer social playing options alongside competitive ones.

OLD UNWRITTEN RULE: You must join the ladies' section, play in Tuesday medals, and stick to your demographic.

NEW RULE: Mix it up. Play with whoever you like, and treat competition as an optional extra—not proof that you’re a "proper" golfer.

The Ladies Tees Are Down There

There is no such thing as female tees - tee markers don't have genders! They are simply the forward tees. While many women benefit from playing from the forward tees due to lower swing speeds, clubs should never assume this is always the case.

Women should play from whichever tee box matches their clubhead speed and hitting distance. If a golfer hits it long, she will enjoy playing further back (and likely take a few pounds off the rest of the group).

OLD UNWRITTEN RULE: Women automatically play from the red tees.

NEW RULE: Replace "What's your handicap?" with "Which tees fit your distance?" More often than not, it’s the men who would benefit from moving forward a tee box rather than grinding out a frustrating score from tees that are simply too long for them.

You’re A Beginner, Buy A Cheap Box Set

This drives me mad. While there are decent starter sets available, many of the best package sets contain too many clubs, are often far too heavy, and are completely inappropriate for the player using them. Beginners only need a few suitable clubs until they achieve consistent contact.

Beginners are much better off building a tailored "mini set" with guidance from their coach, adding clubs as their swing develops. I’d love to see pro shops offer custom-fitted mini starter sets, or even curated second-hand versions featuring older models paired with a lightweight pencil bag. When a professional builds trust early on, that golfer is far more likely to invest in a full custom set later.

The idea of a single ladies flex shaft is one of golf's biggest misconceptions. Women come in all shapes, sizes, and athletic abilities - a shorter senior golfer and a tall, athletic beginner do not share the same swing dynamics. Yet women are rarely fitted properly and are too often steered straight toward the pretty patterns.

OLD UNWRITTEN RULE: Beginners should buy an off-the-shelf, one-size-fits-all boxed set.

NEW RULE: Beginners should start with fewer, properly fitted clubs, guided by a professional who helps them build a set that matches their physical profile.

You Should Find Your Own Playing Partners

Breaking into established cliques as a new member can be daunting. Fixed fourballs that play together every week, often excluding newer, younger women on different handicaps, create an off-putting culture.

Clubs must take an active role in connecting new members by offering social roll-ups and organised functions. Starting golf alone is intimidating; starting alongside three other women who are also learning changes the dynamic entirely. Forming those tribes early allows golfers to transition into full membership as a group rather than a solo player trying to break into an existing group.

In my experience, the sooner women bond over a round and a coffee afterwards, the stronger their retention becomes. Practical initiatives that work include:

Beginner WhatsApp groups and buddy systems
Regular 9-hole social sessions and dedicated "New Member" tee times
Mixed beginner roll-ups and organised post-round coffees

The social side isn’t an optional extra, it is part of the core product. Research consistently shows that community and connection are what keep women involved in the game.

OLD UNWRITTEN RULE: You need to make your own friends before you can enjoy the club.

NEW RULE: You shouldn't have to bring a network with you to enjoy being a member, the club actively helps you find your people.

The Bottom Line

Golf clubs constantly ask, "How do we get more women to join?" Addressing these seven points is the single best place to start. Spending money to get 100 women through the door is useless if most leave because the next step feels confusing, expensive, intimidating, or socially isolating.

We need to stop measuring success by how many women attend an initial taster session. Success is how many of those women are still playing 6, 12, and 24 months later. That is the difference between recruitment and retention.

With women under 50 making up only around 2% of club memberships in England, despite broader interest in the game, there is a massive pool of potential golfers stranded between "I’d like to try golf" and "I’m a golf club member." Now is the time to change. The future of the game depends on it.