'When You’re New To The Game, A Club Can Make It feel Like A Clique You Can't Break Into Rather Than A Welcoming Community'

The first time you’re picking up a club to play the game you’re really just trying to get the hand-eye coordination going. You’re not thinking about the community you’re about to join, if you decide to become part of a golf club. 

Like all communities there are amazing aspects and some not so great ones. Golf has all that and clubs are like micro communities with each one having their own culture and within that community subcultures.

I often compare golf clubs to being in a church or religious community. I grew up in a black majority church here in the UK. When people think about those churches, a lot of people think about the singing and the music. 

However, when I think about that church and church life, I think about belonging. It was a place where I looked around and even though I lived in a city where I was in the minority, every Sunday (and many days in the week) there were people everywhere who looked just like me, they were my people. And there's a big comfort in everyone coming together around a common bond. The belonging, the shared passion that is like the sun at the centre of our universe, brings joyful contentment.

At its best, being part of a golf club allows us all an intergenerational space to connect where you can be part of life, literally from the cradle to the grave - there aren’t enough of these spaces in life. It's a place to go, a place to just be and a place where you can leave all of the stresses and struggles of the week behind. As a member you just turn up, work on your game, put the world to rights in the bar, watch your local team or the golf. You get to be present. 

At its worst golf clubs are too political, with a lingering unwillingness to change, and move forward. The familiarity can breed contempt, when people have spent a bit too much time together and resentments fester over things that have happened. As a newcomer it can be hard to learn the sometimes silent rules. Not knowing the ‘way we do things around here’ and the etiquette. People might never say what you’re doing wrong but you find yourself outside of it all. When you’re new to the game, a club can make it feel like a clique you can't break into rather than a welcoming community. 

Golf is a great game and being part of a club can really accelerate your playing journey with regular playing partners, and playing as much as you want through your membership. But if we don’t eliminate some of the stuffy attitudes and superiority complex around things like handicaps, the very people we want to attract either won’t join or won't stay. If we want golf clubs to still be here in 20 or 30 years we need to ensure we are welcoming communities.

For clubs that looks like: 

• Do you have ways to integrate new members who don't know many or any people at the club? 
• If you have special offers for women, do you have provision for them and playing partners - not just in the women's sections, some of us like mixed play? 
• How do you ensure that places like the clubhouse don’t become tribal and that every member can feel welcome?
• Do you review ‘the way things are done’ to ensure that good traditions are held onto, but you also move with the times and changing needs of members?

It’s easy for us as club members to think club culture is going on somewhere over there, but are we also taking responsibility to actively shape it? Are we friendly and reaching out to new people, or do we have the same old bunch of people we play and socially interact with? Once we are settled in, we should ask ourselves if we are part of a welcoming community or actually, are we stagnant in our approach? We are our club's culture and there’s no collective change if it doesn’t start with individuals. 

If you’re a member at a club maybe ask yourself:

• Are you welcoming to new members and do you make an effort to switch it up with playing partners?
• Do you get defensive when people critique what’s happening, or do you listen and see where things could be changed for the better of all?
• Do you display the etiquette you’d like others to exhibit?
• Do you remember what it was like when you weren’t the golfer you are today? Do you support newer golfers to stick with the journey (and that it not always giving unsolicited swing advice)?
• In the clubhouse, is your behaviour inclusive and welcoming?

Whether you love, are fed up with, or indifferent to your club, maybe the thing to ask ourselves is how can I make the culture a little better to build a club environment I’m proud to invite people into.