Tired Of Golf? I've Taught Hundreds Of Golfers Who Felt The Same. Here Are 7 Tips To Help You Reset Your Game

Golf is often referred to as the game of life, and it’s easy to understand why because there is no other sport that I can think of where every level of ability has the ticket to ride the same emotional rollercoaster.

Having played since the age of 11 I have cried many tears on the golf course because how I played mattered to me that much. Now, having taught others for the past 20 years I understand that I was never alone in feeling that level of frustration and despair.

I have taught every level of golfer, but I have a particular soft spot for coaching beginners and golfers who have lost confidence or even worse, thinking about giving up the game. Perhaps it is my hero complex, but I’d like to think it is more because I can see people’s games and issues with a level of objectivity and through the lens of experience.

So, if you are reading this as someone who finds themselves on the brink of having had enough, here are my pearls of wisdom for you to consider that hopefully inspire you to keep going.

Take Stock Of Your Biggest Issue

Having a clear understanding about what is causing you the biggest problem with your golf is the first step, because if you can’t identify it, you cannot begin to work on solving the issue. Is your problem your ability or a psychological reason? Or perhaps it is your playing environment that makes you feel anxious and unhappy.

When things are going badly it makes you feel like you are lost in the fog, but I’ve witnessed over the years as a coach how much relief can come just from being able to clearly pinpoint what is causing your issues. Once you have identified the problem, you can then decide on the correct course of action to get you out of your funk.

Remember Why You Started Playing Golf

This can be a powerful exercise to get back to the place of joy and optimism that you likely started with. It helps reconnect you to enjoying the process again rather than attaching your enjoyment to outcomes and results.

Hopefully you started playing for yourself and not to please others, or if you did, that might be part of the reason you are unhappy which links to the above point. Or perhaps you now find yourself playing a level of golf you don’t enjoy, such as club medals and matches, because again you are people pleasing and not wanting to let others down.

The trouble with pleasing people though is that ultimately it makes you unhappy, you lose sight of your own needs and what makes you enjoy the game. There is nothing wrong with having boundaries, and it is far better to choose the guilt of saying no than to have resentment for doing something you’d rather not.

On the flip side of this, perhaps you find yourself not playing at the level you would like. If it is being challenged that lights your candle, find an environment that will allow you to shine bright.

You Are In A Toxic Environment

I have witnessed firsthand just how damaging being a member of the wrong club, or being in the wrong ‘click’ of playing partners, can be to a golfer’s confidence. You only need to briefly scroll golf social media groups before you come across someone unhappy with how they are being treated or made to feel. It appears we never really leave school.

Be it at work or at a club, you will always find there are difficult people. What you need to do is decide if it is something you can tolerate, stand up to, or simply walk away from and find a better environment for you to play and enjoy your golf.

Ultimately life is far too short to put up with any nonsense, you play golf for enjoyment, in your precious leisure time and likely pay a good amount of money to do so. Prioritise finding a club and a group that you look forward to seeing and playing with.

Your Expectations Are Killing Your Game

Client: “I am just useless out of bunkers; I hardly ever get out first time”

Me: “How often do you practice in them?”

Client: “Oh I don’t”

Me: “Well, I’m not Miss Marple but I think I may have cracked the case for your lack of bunker skills”

I have a version of this conversation at every coaching session and now with my experience it is clear as day to me how damaging our expectations can be to our progress. I used to be guilty of this mindset too.

Hitting 80 7-irons in a row at the range does not make a golfer! Saying things to yourself along the lines of ‘I should be able to… is a one-way path to golfing misery because golf is ridiculously hard and unless you are putting hours in, day in, day out, you are still going to hit lots of dodgy shots.

Remember your golf handicap is literally the number of mistakes you will make to be over par. Ensure your expectations are realistic for where you are currently, and if you are wanting to improve, make small manageable goals, aim for marginal gains that will compound over time to big improvements.

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

The trouble with being alive today in the social media era is that we are bombarded with content of others playing on great courses with the latest gear, laughing the loudest with their fantastic golf friends and hitting the best shots. Or maybe you are comparing yourself closer to home and know people who started after you and are playing better, or they hardly seem to hit it, but knock it 20 yards past you every time.

Let’s deal with social media first. You likely know this, but it isn’t real and it’s all completely curated content. No one is having that much fun all the time and I have a natural distrust of anyone that is happy and upbeat, so do not fall into the trap of comparing others highlight reels with your behind the scenes.

If you are guilty of comparing yourself to those around you, you need to pack that in. My golf literally improved overnight when I stopped worrying about how or how far others hit, because unless they were coming to hit my ball, the energy spent on thinking about it simply did not serve me or my golf. Play your own game, after all it is the only one you get to play, so embrace how you do things.

You’ve Got The Shanks/Yips

Okay, now this is something I do have sympathy with because it can grind your game to a halt. One of the most damaging parts of having one of these issues is the embarrassment it can cause. The good news is you are not broken, and you are in the company of some of the best golfers in the world who have experienced the above: Tiger Woods, Jordan Spieth and Nick Faldo to name but a few.

A common theme to be aware of when in this rough patch is the expectation of doing the bad shot. I have clients that come for a lesson who tell me they are shanking and don’t hit one until their third or fourth shot and then say ‘Aha! There it is, I knew I was going to do it.”

The shot becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It would be like going for a drive and telling yourself you know you are going to stall the car and then almost being pleased that you do. You are essentially in a state of permanently bracing yourself waiting for the bad shot.

Letting go of the outcome and result at the driving range, where there are no consequences is a good first step, but my best advice would always be to see a pro that has experience of working with these issues. It may be as simple as changing your set up, or a swing tweak. Commit to exploring the problem and possible solutions and if you find something unorthodox that works for you like Matt Fitzpatrick’s reverse chipping grip, go for it!

Take A Break

There is nothing wrong with taking some time out and away from the game. This will give you the space to reset and let go of your negative feelings and potential overthinking about what’s going wrong. Give yourself time to see if you miss playing and if so, what is it you miss?

I regularly see people who come back from holiday not expecting to play well and then play some of their best golf because they are not putting as much pressure on themselves. A rest is the opportunity to give your body and mind a break from any negative patterns you found when playing or practicing. You will hopefully find yourself returning to the game refreshed and re-energised.

Lastly, remember golf by its very nature is a challenging game, we all face the ups and downs it throws at us. Be patient and try to accept the bad luck with the same grace you accept the good. So, before you walk away, consider the above points, you might just find there is still a version of golf out there for you to enjoy.