I Was A Golf Club Captain For Two Years... These Are The Five Best (And Five Worst) Parts Of The Job

Four and a bit years have passed since my tenure as captain at Banchory Golf Club came to an end. That’s time enough to reflect on the two-year experience and time enough for any (or most) grievances, either mine or others’, to have waned sufficiently so as not to create too much bad feeling next time I show up in the clubhouse bar.

Being a golf club captain is, without doubt, one of the most challenging things I’ve done but it was also one of the most rewarding. In the main, I look back fondly on the two years I spent as captain. I learned an awful lot. I learned to deal better with people, I learned to listen, and that my fellow golfers throughout the age range of members had and have different priorities to me that are no less important or valid.

I wouldn’t take back those two years for anything and I will always remember them with affection, and probably a degree of pride. I got through them anyway! Thinking about my time as captain, there were obvious positives and some testing negatives to enjoy and deal with respectively.

Let’s start with the positives. These are:

The five best things about being a golf club captain…

1 – The parking space. Let’s not beat around the bush, this is the Number 1, top perk of taking on the role of golf club captain. Bang slap outside the front door of the clubhouse and always (or at least nearly always) available, no matter how busy the club is. Swing in, jump out and saunter in. Lovely.

My space was perfectly positioned to be viewed by the clubhouse CCTV camera so, on those occasions when the car had to “spend the night” at the golf club, it was very well babysat.

I was also gifted a superb opportunity to use a classic Caddyshack quote thanks to the designated, captain’s parking space. I turned up on a charity golf day to find the car park overflowing. It was so busy that someone driving a rather smart Audi had elected to ignore the (very clear) signage and abandon their gleaming white motor, at a slightly arrogant angle, in the captain’s spot. I walked across to the pro shop, slammed open the door to see the assistant pro selling a glove to a rather surprised looking visitor. “Pillans!” I boomed. “There’s a white Audi parked in my space. Have it towed away immediately.” That was fun.

2 – Getting to know staff members. As captain, it’s important to communicate regularly with all members of staff – the greens team, the clubhouse staff, (both admin and house,) plus the team in the professional’s shop. I tried to take every chance I could to “do the rounds” and make sure things were running smoothly and to listen to any issues or problems that had either arisen or were looming. By doing that, you get to know people who help you at the club. These are the guys and girls who are running your competitions, cutting your greens and pulling your pints (and a darned sight more than that.) The club doesn’t work without them and it’s great to get to know them better.

I enjoyed doing the yearly appraisals as it was a chance to have a proper sit down and discuss how things were going, to hear different perspectives. They were/are a great source of ideas.

3 – Getting to know the members. Well, perhaps not all of the members… But, I would say, a very high percentage of them. Of the 800 or so members we had across all categories at the time of my captaincy, only a handful were anything other than supportive and constructive with any advice they offered. It’s easy to be discouraged by the vocal minority in any situation and golf clubs are always prone to being plagued by a few dissatisfied sorts who want to be noticed. But if you can look at the bigger picture, the vast majority of people are decent and helpful.

I was lucky to have some great committee members helping me out and I enjoyed getting to know them better – some of them really quite well given the amount of time you spend with them over a couple of years as captain. There were only a few little disagreements. Well, I remember them as little disagreements five years on anyway!

Then, just meeting people in the clubhouse, in the car park or on the course who wanted to introduce themselves to the captain or had a suggestion or query. Before I was captain, I knew my circle of golfing friends at the club, plus a few others. Now I say hello to most people I see when I’m there. And only a few of them snarl back at me!

4 – Having a say on course changes and set-up. This was great fun. I also took the role of greens convenor when I was captain, so I sat down with the head greenkeeper for a couple of hours each week to discuss works. I don’t think I did anything too controversial but removing some ugly conifer-style trees, improving pathways, thinking about hole shapes and bunkering… I got a lot out of that.

5 – The speeches. I quite like the sound of my own voice and being a golf club captain affords you the opportunity to stand up and speak, pretty much whenever you fancy it. Opening day – the chance for a speech (probably two), Prizegiving – speech time! The golf club quiz – a chance of a speech, Any other social function at the club – someone’s got to say something don’t they? The AGM – a nice long speech…. The list goes on. I will give a tip though – If you play early in an event and then spend the day chatting to people in the golf club bar while the other entrants finish, don’t imagine that you will be able to give some sort of award-winning oration at the culmination of proceedings, six or seven hours later. It leads to some very funny, and some quite sympathetic looks.

And now for the bad stuff:

The five worst things about being a golf club captain

1 – The time consumed. Being captain at a member-owned club is like having half a second job. Maybe a bit more than that actually. You must be prepared to give up a huge amount of time. Committee meetings, staff meetings, course walks, golf days, club social events, budget meetings, job interviews, appraisals, new member days, writing newsletters, organising surveys, disputes with Scottish Water, disputes with neighbours, meeting your MSP about disputes with neighbours, looking at fences, looking at pipework, looking at urinals… Yeah, it’s pretty time-consuming. I really must apologise to my wife again.

2 – Committee meetings. As I mentioned, my fellow committee members were brilliant during my captaincy and provided essential support, without which I wouldn’t have lasted two weeks, let alone two years in the hotseat. But the monthly committee meeting was, and I think always will be, a challenge. The reason for that is, with the best will in the world, each committee member heads into each committee meeting with a different agenda. As captain, you are sort of in charge, but you’re nobody’s boss. That means, it's quite difficult not to hear out everybody’s agenda in full. As a result, committee meetings tend to drag a little. Once you’ve heard the concerns about potholes on the access road for the fourth straight meeting and had the debate about whether it’s the council’s or the club’s responsibility to sort them, you start to question your sanity.

3 – Disciplinary matters. This is possibly the toughest thing to do as a captain. I was lucky not to face anything too serious. But I did need to have a word with a couple of more senior members at the club. One for poor choice of language towards a staff member and one because of some rather erratic behaviour directed towards me. In the cold light of day, the whole thing can be rather embarrassing and awkward. Thankfully, I never had to take disciplinary matters further than a verbal warning, but I know from fellow past captains who have had to go there, it’s not a pleasant process.

4 – Accountability. The buck stops with the captain. The committee can make a decision but the captain has to back it for it to go through. The captain will face the flak if things go wrong.

The best example I had of this was during the first winter I was captain. There was a sudden ice storm one afternoon and the club car park and surrounds were immediately covered in a sheet of ice. I happened to be there and was aware it was ladies’ bridge in the clubhouse that afternoon. I tip-toed in and interrupted the bridge (dangerous) to warn of the peril outside. I then went out with a staff member to try and put salt down and chip ice off the steps. Despite my warning, one of the women (wearing kitten heels) skipped out the front door, fell immediately on her back and broke her shoulder. She tried to sue the golf club – to no avail as she was a member, and you can’t sue yourself. She then tried to sue me! Thankfully, other members advised her that wasn’t very cool, and proceedings were dropped before they really got underway. But that gives you an idea of how much you’re putting your own neck on the line when you take on golf club captaincy.

5 – Your captaincy finishing. For two years you know everything that’s going on at your golf club. You, ostensibly, have the final say in everything that happens at your golf club. You have a kick-ass parking space! Then, all of a sudden, you hand over the reins and you’re just an ordinary member again. It’s a bit of a thump back down to earth and reality. You were really quite important for a little while and now nobody needs to listen to what you think about the bunkering on the 11th or what pale ale should be on tap behind the bar. Hmm, maybe I should go back on the committee again. Then again, maybe not.