The 10 Comments You're Guaranteed To Hear In Every Golf Clubhouse Bar

Some comments, regardless of where in the world you play your golf, you’ll hear every day in the clubhouse. From remarks about the weather, to complaints about the golf course, here are some of the most common.

I Couldn’t Get A ******* Tee Time

Someone is always losing their rag at not being able to secure a nice early tee time at the weekend. It’s not so much the fact that you have to log in and be quick to book the prime slots, rather it's that the same few people always seem to get them. Infuriating.

The State Of All Those Pitch Marks

Often all it will take is a short missed putt, and that’ll be enough for someone to get start accusing visitors of having no etiquette and blaming the club for allowing society days. If it’s not pitch marks, it’s divots, broken tees and unraked bunkers.

I Think I’m Going To Pack This In

Most of us with threaten to quit the game at some point. On occasions, our frustration spills over into the bar, where we want everyone to know that we’re done. Officially done. However, despite a bad back, a case of the yips, or a wild hook, we’re back playing 48 hours later. 

$650 For A New Driver… It’s Just Ridiculous

The price of golf equipment is always a fairly hot topic. In fact, the cost of petty much anything will have certain golfers grumbling away: subs, beer, petrol, rent, food.

I’m Working On My Swing At The Moment

There’s always someone who continues to talk golf long after the round has finished, when the topic of conversation should be on more important matters than swing plane and spin control. 

Weren’t The Greens Slow?

The green and greenkeepers are often the first to come in for criticism when someone has had a poor round with the putter. The greens could be running at 13 on the Stimpmeter, but it won’t stop some golfers comparing them to broccoli. We're not always moaning, and there will be occasions when we delight in how fast they're playing. 

My God, It Was Slow Out There

The pace of play could well have been fairly brisk, but it won’t stop some people moaning about being held up. On other occasions, that frustration may well be fully justified. The time that it takes to complete a round of golf will always be discussed post round, that's for certain. 

The Weather Out There Is Awful

This might be more of a British thing. It’s pretty much guaranteed that the weather will be mentioned in the clubhouse – Brits just love to talk about it, especially when it’s dreadful.

I’ve Been Hitting It Well On The Range

The clubhouse bar is full of golfers keen to tell anyone who will listen how they’ve been hitting the ball like a Tour pro on the range. It could well be true, of course, but no one is really listening.

 I Had Zero Luck Out There

We all suffer with bad breaks. Some golfers, though, just can’t let it go – it’s like the whole world is against them. ‘I hit a perfect drive on 15, straight down the middle. Couldn’t even find it.’ ‘My tee shot on 12 landed straight in a divot.’ ‘My ball rolled straight into a foot mark in a bunker.’ ‘The wind picked up at just the wrong time.’ ‘A car horn went on my backswing.’