I’ve placed a proverbial monkey on my back over the past few years by giving myself the goal of shooting under par, and recently it has become a bit of an obsession.
I’d come close numerous times but never quite got over the line despite knowing I was able to break 70, my course’s par, and seeing people I knew though the years go sub-par despite having higher handicaps than me.
Having shot level par multiple times and giving away a good few under par scores, I had began to wonder if it would ever happen. I remember bogeying the last, albeit in near-darkness thanks to a late tee time, to shoot level par and another time where I was two-under after 12 in a competition before limping home. Another round I left myself a short birdie putt on the 16th to go one-under, which I holed, and then remember barely even being able to grip my club on the 17th, a par-3, hoping that I wouldn’t shank it. Stupid right?
A month later I was in the middle of the fairway on the par-5 18th at Wildernesse GC in Kent with a hybrid in hand and the green easily in range. Birdie for my first ever under-par round. I felt okay at this point but proceeded to pull it left and scrapped a par to shoot level. That day I was level after eight but three-over after nine thanks to a triple-bogey. I came home in three-under and made six birdies in total, yet still didn’t break par. This comeback gave me some hope though, and I have since been positive in my mindset that it will eventually happen.
Like Wildernesse, I again found myself three-over-par - this time after just six holes. Hitting it averagely, chipping very averagely and plodding my way to a round in the high 70s, I wasn’t prepared to give up as I came back from three-over just a month ago. I told my playing partner, the same friend who has multiple under-par rounds in his locker, that I just need four more (birdies). I managed to turn in two-over before back-to-back birdies at the 12th and 13th got me back to level par. One more I told him.
The last five at my club feature a simple dogleg-right par-4, which suits my fade, two long and tough par-4s, a simple-ish par-3 and a short par-5 finisher that always offers up a birdie chance if you can get the drive away. I knew if I could get to the 18th tee at level par then I’d have a great chance.
I made a mistake on the 15th tee - going back to Western Gailes ironically - of just trying not to hook my drive OOB onto the train line. Obviously that led to a slice into the trees on the right but somehow I managed to hole a snaking 12ft right-to-lefter for an almighty par, and some 20 minutes later I had a three-footer on the 17th to get to the 18th tee at one-under. It went in thankfully and now all I needed to do was make a par up the last to break 70 for the first time. I felt calm and deep down I think expected to make a birdie or at least an easy par... How wrong I was.
The drive was good and I was left with a perfect hybrid yardage from the perfect lie. At this point, two-under was on the cards. My hybrid has the tendency to go left but I trusted myself. I wasn't going to play safe and make bogey. Why not go for the green when I'm playing well? I've definitely arrived at the stage where I can live with myself if I mess up after feeling confident. Messing up after playing safe or not committing to a shot in that moment would have been a cardinal sin that I wouldn't have been able to live with.
It went left. Just like on the 18th at Wildernesse, but somehow the trees caught it from going out of bounds. The provisional went even further left for those wondering. At this point, I wasn’t too fazed as I had lost the fear of failure. I think I even managed a smile. I’d failed so many times that what bad would another failure be? A blob and I’d sign for a 71 with an asterisk. It would have still been a good day.
Luckily, my ball was found but unfortunately I could only chip it out sidewards, with the swipe going about two yards, leaving me with around 35 yards to the pin with the prospect of an up-and-down to shoot my magic number. I thought my pitch shot would be 10ft short when I hit it but somehow it just continued to run - perhaps it was my day - and I had a four footer to shoot my first ever under par round. The putt crept in the right side of the hole and I signed for a 69.
It was a strange experience, shooting my lowest ever round and accomplishing the only real golfing goal I’ve had for at least the last three years. It should have felt like I had completed golf but in my mind I haven’t.
I played worse than average for the first six holes and scrapped it down the last, yet this was my best ever 18. It’s a strange game we play and I put this score down to experience and losing that fear. I wasn’t really that nervous coming in. I hit every shot (barring the drive on 15) with confidence, without worrying about slices, hooks or tops.
Golf is such a mental game - it’s played on the six inch course between your ears as the great Arnold Palmer once said - and this is so true.
Fear and negativity comes so natural to me on the golf course, and probably many others too, and that’s why I’d never broken par. But if you can somehow get rid of it, you’ll see that your best golf is possible.
