'The Progress I Craved Is Now Suffocating Me' - Confessions Of A Mid-Handicap Golfer

"If I can break 100, just once, I'll be happy." Well, at least I thought so.

I spent years desperately fighting a wild slice, battling bunker demons and making more three-putts than I care to count - all in pursuit of a sub-100 score.

When I finally achieved that milestone, I thought it would be a watershed moment.

It turns out all I achieved, after endless trips to the driving range, was a marginally raised floor.

The days of posting three-figure scores are now (mostly) behind me, but I have created a new problem - and it's making me feel claustrophobic...

Confessions Of A Mid-Handicapper: Progress Is Suffocating

I have shown little evidence in recent months that I'm even remotely close to breaking 90, which means I am now stuck in this suffocating limbo where every single round I card is somewhere between 92 and 99.

Consistency is another thing I've chased for years (be careful what you wish for), and I feel like I am playing the best golf of my life, but I am still nowhere near.

Yes, I've said goodbye to the embarrassment I used to feel whenever I followed a nine with an eight, and then another eight, in consecutive holes.

Yes, I am occasionally able to play golf shots of a quality that makes others question the integrity of my handicap.

But, without the realistic ambition of achieving the next goal on the amateur golfer wish list, the whole thing feels a bit flat.

Being a mid-handicapper, you don't quite have the satisfaction of being a 'good' golfer, banking a few birdies and being 'annoyed' with one or two bogeys per round.

You are, however, 'good enough' that you lose some of the precious shots which at least gave you a decent chance of winning a competition or two each season.

At the moment, I am conscious that I need to play my best golf to shoot in the low-90s, but I am also confident that I can rescue a score from any average performance to sneak in with a 99.

So, what can I actually do about it? The logical step would be to double down.

If I invested time in some more lessons and a serious practice regime, that would (hopefully) yield the marginal gains that I need, I theoretically should be able to get over the line. I'm not convinced.

Like many amateurs, achieving a centred strike more often is an area I could focus on, but I feel like my ball striking is at an acceptable standard to help me break 90 for the first time - the trap in each round for me is the stupid, senseless mistakes.

Recently, I had a 12ft putt for birdie on a tough par 3 - after striping a 5-iron to the middle of the green. At that stage of my round, I was on track!

I knew the putt was severely downhill, and left-to-right, so I went through my process and gave it the attention it deserved.

What came next perfectly illustrates my point. Instead of nudging one down there for an easy par (and three points), I opted for a jerky over-acceleration in the through stroke because my brain decided at the last minute that I wasn't going to get there. It sailed 10ft past.

After missing the return putt, I walked off with a three-putt four. That was followed by a emotion-fuelled, rage-induced swipe on the next tee box, with out of bounds down the right, and suddenly I was reaching into my bag for a new ball.

No score on the next, head on another planet and two more doubles (fine, triples) meant that two or three poorly executed shots completely derailed a round that had the potential to actually be 'the one'.

I know what the advice from anyone reading this post will be. 'Get out of your own head', 'take one shot at a time' and 'It will happen - be patient'. These are conversations I have had over and over again.

I realise I don't have the best temperament on the course, but I would optimistically describe myself as a 'confidence player'.

The positive emotions fuel me, the negative emotions destroy me. That's how it is. When more bad things happen to me on the golf course than good, that's not a great recipe for success.

I'm not necessarily looking for a 'fix', because I remember feeling a similar way when I wallowed in high-handicap hell. It will happen, I'm sure - but it sucks right now!

I am almost certain that other mid-handicappers will relate to this feeling of being trapped; where average scores come and go but the potential of a handicap cut or a score in the 80s feels a world away.

Drop me a comment below and share your story - perhaps all we need is to get it off our chests. Watch this space, 87 incoming!