6 Comments That Rile Me Up On The Golf Course (And An Infuriating Clubhouse Custom)

Like many amateur golfers, I look forward to playing golf for days before I actually tee it up.

I am very fortunate as part of my job to play lots of golf as part of my job, at some of the best courses in the UK, but sadly my enjoyment of the round itself can be marred by a number of factors.

Sometimes it's slow play, other times it's my inconsistent ball striking, but more often it's senseless comments from other golfers.

Below, I share six examples that rile me up on the golf course - and one custom that makes me crazy in the clubhouse!

6 Comments That Rile Me Up On The Golf Course

I am almost certain you will have heard many of these on the course or around the golf club, but I am also sure you will have some great examples of your own.

This could be like a form of therapy, in a way, so why not share them in the comments box at the bottom of this article? Let's create the ultimate guide to golfing lunacy - it will be fun, I promise.

1. What's your handicap again?

You know my handicap. I just told you on the first tee box when we exchanged cards and worked out how many shots I get.

Yes - I am not very good at golf. Yes - I sometimes play better than my high handicap.

But, please do not question my integrity with your back-handed digs.

You only need to take a glance at my WHS handicap record, which is readily available for your inspection, to see the wild inconsistency that has earned me my high-handicapper badge.

I put a card in every single round, mainly in pursuit of cutting my handicap in 2026, so the index really couldn't be more accurate.

I don't care about winning enough to cheat in a club match or social competition, so get back in your lane and worry playing better golf - or I, the hacker, will beat you and that will make you even more cross.

2. The early congratulation

Is there anything more annoying that an early congratulation on the golf course?

The ball has literally just left the clubface and you already hear... "great shot".

As my inevitable slice attacks the ball flight and the wind kicks it further into the trees down the right - my blood pressure begins to rise.

The awkwardness of the recovery or the silence that follows is toe-curling. In fact, your playing partner then saying "it looked good early" or "that's a bad break" makes it 10-times worse.

It wasn't a bad break, it was a rubbish shot. Just wait a few more seconds before sharing your feedback and reserve the praise for the one occasion per round where I actually flush it.

3. it's still you

Chances are if you hear the phrase 'still you', something has gone wrong somewhere.

What I don't need is the reminder of that fact. I know it's still me. I can see it's still me.

It's the equivalent of saying mind your head after you've banged it or don't forget your keys after door has just shut behind you - unnecessary and unhelpful.

4. We are playing a match

Playing a match doesn't entitle you to be obnoxious.

Why should that give you the right to take an age over every putt or refuse to let our two-ball through when we are right up your backside for the entire front-nine?

Let's take a dose of perspective here. You aren't playing on the PGA Tour, you aren't battling it out for a Major Championship, so get over yourself and let others enjoy their golf around you.

In my opinion, everyone is equal on the golf course. Whether you are a good player, a beginner, playing a match or having a friendly knock. Simple principles should govern us all.

Be polite, be respectful of each other and keep up with the pace of play (or move out of the way).

5. I'm Waiting For The Green

I've been playing golf for a few years now and I can recall one occasion where the person who said "I am waiting for the green to clear" has actually gone on to hit the green.

In fact, I could count on one hand the amount of times the people on the green would have been even remotely in danger.

Waiting five minutes to then slice it 30 yards right of the fairway or duff it 125 yards down the middle is more likely the result after making that statement. I mean, make better decisions people. Slow play is a thing.

6. What's the rush?

You'll notice that many of these examples centre around my biggest bugbear, slow play on the golf course.

I like to play fast, which I am aware isn't the same for everyone, but a pedestrian pace of play impacts everyone.

Being late home to help with the kids is one thing, but waiting five minutes over every shot also has a direct negative impact on the scoring and enjoyment of others.

You might be someone who can spend all day at the golf club, with no other commitments and plenty of time for five beers in the clubhouse, but that isn't the case for everyone.

It's not about rushing, it's just about being considerate of others time and enjoyment of the game.

Infuriating Clubhouse Custom

The ritual judgement of people as they walk into the clubhouse is something that I am yet to experience in any other business, organisation or establishment anywhere else.

It's like that scene in the famous film 'An American Werewolf in London' where the backpackers walk into a pub and everyone stares in complete silence.

If you are lucky, the locals won't bother you. If you aren't, you might get an earful about your shoes, clothing, hat, mobile phone or a myriad of other things that would be totally normal in any other building within a 50 miles radius.

Let's get something right, we aren't still living in the 1920s. Fewer people were suits to work now, almost everyone owns a pair of trainers and mobile phones have been a thing for almost four decades.

So, if I walk in wearing shorts, with my clean golf shoes on, that are designed to be worn both on and off the course, and my mobile phone in my hand - I really don't expect to receive a lecture about it.

Fortunately, I've never experienced this at my home club - so at least I am safe there.

Outside of a wedding or a funeral, I'd be surprised to be asked to wear a shirt, tie and jacket. So, I certainly will not be changing into my formals for some food or a drink after a round of golf. How ridiculous.

My feelings are that if I can wear it at the restaurant down the road or in the bars in town, I should be able to wear it in the clubhouse.

After all, is it not a space for golfers to go to relax and enjoy a few drinks after their round? Drop the formalities, lose the silent stare and let's all get on with our lives.