'I Didn’t Know How Much Longer I Had To Live' - Anthony Kim Details How He Came Back From The Brink

Anthony Kim has detailed the mental demons that he struggled to deal with during his long spell away from golf, but he's now back with a new purpose

Anthony Kim stands with a hand on his hip at the International Series Macau 2024
(Image credit: Getty Images)

His return to golf has been a big story in the sport, and Anthony Kim has revealed more details of his struggles before ending his 12-year hiatus from the game.

The three-time PGA Tour winner returned to men's professional golf in February by playing in the LIV Golf League - where he will compete all season as a wildcard.

Kim has opened up on a few occasions about the reasons for his long spell away from golf - notably in an interview with David Feherty - where among other things he described the multiple surgeries he's had on injuries.

The 38-year-old has also spoken of his mental health issues - and reiterated them in an interview with Australian newspaper The Age ahead of LIV Golf's return to Adelaide.

“When I was at a low point in my life, I was scared I would wake up in the morning because of all the things I would have to deal with,” Kim told The Age. 

"A year-and-a-half ago, I didn’t know how much longer I had to live."

While also crediting his turnaround to his wife and daughter, Kim says talking to trained professionals about his mental state also helped him to come back from the brink.

“Now the biggest fear I have is not waking up in the morning, not being able to love and support my family," he added.

“A lot of amazing people have pushed me to talk to other people and talk to professionals. At one point, I had to be away from my family for a while and get help.

"That was a low point in my life. I’ve never been one to talk about anything emotional, but a lot of people were there for me – people I didn’t expect to be there.”

Falling in love with golf again

Anthony Kim holding a big USA flag at the 2008 Ryder Cup

(Image credit: Getty Images)

After hardly picking up a club for "six or seven years" it will be slow going for Kim to get back into the swing of things - and play catch up in terms of getting the right equipment fitted.

But he's got a new interest in the game, and is being spurred on by his desire to provide for his family.

“I don’t know if I love golf, but I really enjoy it,” Kim said. “I’m falling in love with the game. I realise that I never enjoyed it the way I have now.

“The difference between my first career, and where I’m at now, is I used to want to prove to other people I could do it at this level. It took away from me taking care of myself. 

"I based my self-worth around what other people were thinking, as opposed to how I feel about myself when I go to bed at night.

“I pray that I can deal with the demons every day presents. Unfortunately, at a younger age, I didn’t deal with them well, and I did a lot of things to cover them."

Kim still wants to win again

Kim has shown flashes of his previous game before finishing in and around the bottom of the standings in his events so far - but he told Greg Norman when he signed that he's not come back just to make up the numbers.

"I think about it [winning again] every day; I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” he insisted.

“That’s not the person I am. When I had the conversation with Greg [Norman] about certain expectations. I told him, ‘I’m not here to be another one of the guys. If you want me to be, I shouldn’t be on this tour’. 

"He sees some ability in me, but he wanted me to manage my expectations because there’s a lot of good players. I’m not here to be finishing 20th, 30th, 40th or 50th. I’m here to start competing for tournaments, and with some hard work and a couple of good bounces, I’m sure I’ll be there.”

Paul Higham
Contributor

Paul Higham is a sports journalist with over 20 years of experience in covering most major sporting events for both Sky Sports and BBC Sport. He is currently freelance and covers the golf majors on the BBC Sport website.  Highlights over the years include covering that epic Monday finish in the Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor and watching Rory McIlroy produce one of the most dominant Major wins at the 2011 US Open at Congressional. He also writes betting previews and still feels strangely proud of backing Danny Willett when he won the Masters in 2016 - Willett also praised his putting stroke during a media event before the Open at Hoylake. Favourite interviews he's conducted have been with McIlroy, Paul McGinley, Thomas Bjorn, Rickie Fowler and the enigma that is Victor Dubuisson. A big fan of watching any golf from any tour, sadly he spends more time writing about golf than playing these days with two young children, and as a big fair weather golfer claims playing in shorts is worth at least five shots. Being from Liverpool he loves the likes of Hoylake, Birkdale and the stretch of tracks along England's Golf Coast, but would say his favourite courses played are Kingsbarns and Portrush.