They Say Playing Partners Don't Care If You're Good Or Bad At Golf... Don't Believe It!
Golf is a selfish sport and players are only worried about their own game, right? But they do care who they play with if it might affect their score


I have always loved how golf is such an inclusive sport. It genuinely transcends generations. Handicaps give us the opportunity to play off an equal footing. The gender barriers are all but gone at most clubs. Dress codes have relaxed. Participation numbers have soared. So surely it shouldn’t matter if you play with someone off a high handicap index?
Well in my experience the handicap index of your playing partners can make a difference to your scores, because golfers with more shots naturally take longer. In your group you’ll be hunting for more lost golf balls, they’ll be playing more provisionals off the tee, taking longer on the greens after missing putts. It takes more time to put together a high score, so in most cases accompanying them on a round of golf will take a lot longer.
Nonsense, I hear you cry! Playing off a high handicap doesn’t have to mean slow play, in fact it’s offensive to those playing off double digits who march their way around 18 holes in no time at all, and besides, there are plenty of very, very slow single figure golfers to contradict that theory.
However, in my experience, who you play golf with does matter and it can have a profoundly positive or negative effect on your scores. Golf is an individual sport. Yes, we are out there for enjoyment, but ultimately if you are playing in a competition then you need to give yourself the best chance of scoring well.
The Lower, The Better
Playing with golfers better than you will elevate your game. You will try to mirror their shots, learn from their skills, copy their course management strategies. Admittedly, playing with better players as a beginner can be daunting, a real mental challenge as you try to keep up with their skill level and scores, but there is no doubt that it will help you improve your game. You should try to keep an open mind and remember that most good players are very patient and will want you to succeed.
As a good player you will usually have the luxury of choosing who you play with, you always win the popularity contest, but I also think that you have a duty and responsibility to encourage newcomers. It disappoints me the number of low handicappers who avoid teeing off with high handicappers, simply because they know their speed of play and the number of shots they take will be a distraction to their own games. What a very selfish standpoint I say.
Choose Your Partners Wisely
I must confess that the one thing I have noticed from playing a lot of golf with high handicappers is that while these friends have steadily improved, I have actually gradually gotten a little worse with age. A large part of this is due to taking quality time out from serious competitive golf when my son was young. But there is a noticeable difference in the length I hit the ball compared to when I played with my county team compatriots regularly in my twenties and early thirties.
Get the Golf Monthly Newsletter
Subscribe to the Golf Monthly newsletter to stay up to date with all the latest tour news, equipment news, reviews, head-to-heads and buyer’s guides from our team of experienced experts.
There’s no doubt that when you play with better players, particularly longer hitters, you remember that to hit the ball further you have to swing faster. My tempo has slowed down because I have done nothing but play with women whose swing speed is at best average and at worst, darn right slow. With no good players to mirror I have slipped out of the habit of swinging with speed!
Pace Of Play Matters
Even with the best will in the world it is nearly impossible to keep your focus if someone is taking 10 shots to your two to get to the green. The mind will wander. You will become distracted. Personally, my best golf is played at a fairly brisk pace, where I get to the ball, check my distance, pick my club, visualise the shot I want to play, pull the trigger and hit it.
So next time you are putting your name down with a selection of playing partners ask yourself the question? How likely am I to play well in their company? Be honest and pick wisely.
Carly Frost is one of the golf industry’s best-known female writers, having worked for golf magazines for over 20 years. As a consistent three-handicapper who plays competitive club golf at Parkstone and the Isle of Purbeck courses in Dorset every week, Carly is well-versed in what lady golfers love. Her passion for golf and skill at writing combine to give her an unbeatable insight into the ladies game.
Carly’s role at Golf Monthly is to help deliver thorough and accurate ladies equipment reviews, buying advice and comparisons to help you find exactly what you are looking for. So whether it’s the latest driver, set of irons, golf ball, pair of shoes or even an outfit, Carly will help you decide what to buy. Over the years she has been fortunate to play some of the greatest courses in the world, ranking Sea Island, Georgia, USA, among her favourite golf resorts. Carly's aptly-named son Hogan is already hitting the ball as far as mum and will undoubtedly be a name to watch out for in the future. Carly is a keen competitor and her list of golfing achievements are vast. She is a former winner of the South West of England Ladies Intermediate Championship, a three-time winner of the European Media Masters and she once beat an entire start-sheet of men to the title of Times Corporate World Golf Champion. She has played for both the Dorset and Surrey County Ladies first teams and is known for her excellent track record at matchplay.
Carly holds the ladies course record (68) at her home club Parkstone and her lowest competition round (seven-under-par 65) was carded in the pro-am of the Irish Ladies Open at Killeen Castle, playing alongside Solheim Cup superstar Anna Nordqvist. Although her current handicap index has crept up to 3.7 since Covid she has her sights firmly set on achieving that elusive scratch handicap and hopefully playing for her country when she’s 50.
Carly’s current What's In The Bag?
Driver: Callaway Epic Max, 10.5°
Fairway wood: TaylorMade SIM2, 15°
Hybrids: Titleist TS2, 19°, 21°, 24°
Irons: Mizuno JPX900, 5-PW
Wedges: Cleveland RTX, 52°, 56° and 58°
Putter: Scotty Cameron Futura X5
Ball: 2021 Callaway Ladies SuperSoft
-
‘It’s About Perception, Not Rules. Women Are Allowed To Wear A Lot More Than Men At Most Golf Courses’ - Mia Baker On Golf's Dress Code
Content creator and presenter Mia Baker on why changing mindsets is key to building a more inclusive golf community
By Alison Root Published
-
'If We Want To Figure Out Why The Game Of Golf Is Not Back Together, Go Ask Those Guys' - Scottie Scheffler Insists LIV Golfers To Blame For Golf's Big Divide
Scottie Scheffler reiterated his stance that LIV golfers were to blame for the continued split in men's pro golf, while insisting the PGA Tour still had a better standard
By Paul Higham Published
-
‘It’s About Perception, Not Rules. Women Are Allowed To Wear A Lot More Than Men At Most Golf Courses’ - Mia Baker On Golf's Dress Code
Content creator and presenter Mia Baker on why changing mindsets is key to building a more inclusive golf community
By Alison Root Published
-
‘Most Of The Time I Don’t Bother Signing Up’ - The Cliquey Culture Hurting Women’s Golf
Our women's golf editor highlights an issue that is quietly pushing some female golfers to the sidelines
By Alison Root Published
-
The One Mental Mistake Pro Golfers Never Make - Are You Guilty Of It?
Top 50 Coach Katie Dawkins shares her tips on how to mentally reset your golf game
By Katie Dawkins Published
-
The Cold Hard Stats And Harsh Realities That No One Tells You About Turning Pro
Former pro Kathryn Imrie reveals the brutal truth on what it really takes - from swing speeds to bank balances - to make it in the world of professional golf
By Kathryn Imrie Published
-
‘I Couldn’t Walk For 3 Minutes, Now I Walk 18 Holes’ - From Life-Saving Double Lung Transplant To Golfing For Team GB
With only months to live, Ana Browne's transplant saved her life - but golf transformed it
By Carly Cummins Published
-
‘I Want To Play Golf, But…’ - The Women Redefining Golf On Their Own Terms
To coincide with #AccelerateAction, the theme for International Women's Day, we highlight the way female golfers are driving change
By Alison Root Published
-
How Far Does The Average Female Club Golfer Hit Their 7-Iron?
We've looked at the data... Find out if you are hitting your 7-iron an average distance
By Alison Root Published
-
Why Pay More? 7 DIY Golf Training Aids That Actually Work
Top 50 Coach Katie Dawkins on how to use the best DIY training aids to improve your game
By Katie Dawkins Published