‘What If My Swing Abandons Me?’ - PGA Tour Pro Details Psychological Battle Of A 54-Hole Lead
Michael Kim reflected on how he felt with his first big lead in a PGA Tour event - the 2018 John Deere Classic - and how he initially struggled to cope with the pressure of the situation
There is a saying in sport that athletes often use when they are close to lifting a title or reaching their respective goal and their brain is doing its best to stress them out - 'pressure is a privilege.'
For those of us who have ever led a club championship or a medal event, especially one that takes place over multiple days, you will be all too aware of the emotions that will flood your body when out in front. But just imagine how intense that kind of psychological battle would be if you were to be heading up a PGA Tour event. That kind of pressure must be very tough to view as a positive.
While most of us reading this are unlikely to ever endure that situation first hand, PGA Tour pro Michael Kim has detailed his debut experience of holding a final-round lead at the 2018 John Deere Classic and what he went through prior to winning his one and only title on Tour so far.
The 30-year-old - who, at the time, was battling to save his Tour card - revealed how his sleep pattern was badly disrupted across the weekend and how he even wondered if he would completely forget how to swing a club all of a sudden.
Kim also stated that while having a multiple-shot lead with only 18 holes to go is certainly a good thing, many players have crumbled over the weight of expectation and there was a chance he could have been the latest.
But starting to explain what it is like to hold a big lead with less than 24 hours until the finish line comes into view, Kim said: "I had a 2 or 3 shot lead after Friday and a 5-shot lead after Saturday. I was already pretty nervous heading into the week because it was my first lead ever but also the 2018 John Deere classic is one of the last few events before the year ends. I hadn’t secured my card and I knew I needed a really high finish to secure my card for last yr.
"While having a big lead is great, it’s also an added pressure because you know that it’s yours to lose. Everyone expects you to win and there’s been many guys in the past that has collapsed under the pressure.
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"Main thing I remember is the lack of sleep. I usually sleep 8hrs no problem but Fri and sat night I probably averaged 4 hrs. I would wake up in the middle of the night with my heart beating harder than normal and wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.
"I ended up visualizing ALL the possibilities of Sunday that Saturday night haha. Getting off to a horrible start, getting off to a great start. Maybe a player makes a big charge on Sunday. What if my swing abandons me? I recently had switched coaches and that was another factor leading to anxiety."
What’s it like on a Saturday night with a big lead lead on the pgatour?I had a 2 or 3 shot lead after Friday and a 5 shot lead after Saturday. I was already pretty nervous heading into the week because it was my first lead ever but also the 2018 John Deere classic is one of the…November 16, 2023
Kim went on to explain that a certain section of the human brain has the natural urge to look for the worst-case scenario in a situation - called catastrophizing - and players will often worry about highly unlikely circumstances no matter their prospects.
Luckily for the American, a different sport was on the TV during his conscious hours and he was able to take his mind elsewhere before returning to concentrate on (and worry about) his day job.
He said: "Ur brain will always look for worst-case scenarios in stressful situations because its only job is to survive. I didn’t have much understanding of the brain and mental game at that time (I thought I did).
"Luckily, Wimbledon was on really early and I was able to watch some of that which took my mind off the golf for a bit. What’s kind of interesting was that when I got to the golf course, I felt way better. I got into my routine, and knew what I was going to do, but the time before that was really tough."
As it turned out, the South Korean-born golfer began like a house on fire in his final round and chained three consecutive birdies together to start a closing 66, finishing the event on 27-under.
Kim said: "Waking up at 3am but leaving the hotel at like 10am for the course, that 7hr gap, ur mind goes all over the place haha But it clearly worked! I ended up starting Sunday with 3 birdies in a row, never looked back, and won by 8!"
Kim is currently 120th in the OWGR and 79th in the FedEx Cup rankings having recorded three top-25 finishes in his past four starts.
Jonny Leighfield is our Staff News Writer who joined Golf Monthly just in time for the 2023 Solheim Cup and Ryder Cup. He graduated from the University of Brighton with a degree in Sport Journalism in 2017 and spent almost five years as the sole sports reporter at his local newspaper. During his time with Golf Monthly, Jonny has interviewed several stars of the game, including Robert MacIntyre, Ian Poulter, and Lee Westwood. An improving golfer himself, Jonny enjoys learning as much about the game as he can and is hoping to reach his Handicap goal of 18 at some stage. He attended both the 150th and 151st Open Championships and dreams of attending The Masters one day.
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