'My Embarrassment Was Palpable' - Genelle Aldred Reflects On The Highs And Lows Of Her First Golfing Year

Have you ever heard your heart beating in your ears? That was me on the 1st tee on the Old Course at St Andrews. It turns out a shot of vodka wasn’t enough to calm the nerves. Boom, boom, boom. Playing at the home of golf in my first full season as a golfer is an indication of the intense highs I have been through, and the lows? They were there too. 

I think the season went quite differently to how I was expecting it to go. Because of that, it's hard to forget the progress I’ve made, but I didn't quite manage to reach the goal I set at the beginning.  

First comes the reasons, or maybe they’re excuses, all depending on how I look at it. Just before the start of the season, in March, I changed my golf club for a variety of reasons. One of them being that I felt I wanted to go to a club that had more women who were lower handicaps. I actually don’t play that much with the women’s section, but that’s a story for another day! 

I was after a course that I felt I could play a bit better and that would stretch my golf. So I switched from a narrow course, to one that was wider with more self-contained holes. It also has water, lots of water and I went through a massive stage of the yips with it. 

Taking on this challenge meant my golf took a step back, overall it’s a leap forward, but that was tough. Just when I was getting used to the course, scores began improving, then I changed my golf clubs. I got some custom-fitted PXGs and my handicap tumbled further. I came down 10 shots in one month. That was fast, very fast and then I skidded to what can only be described as an emergency handbrake turn and after the end of July I was playing as if I had never interacted with a golf ball before. Painful, very painful, especially as it coincided with me playing at several courses and events I’d been invited to. My embarrassment was palpable. I went from winning the swindle every few weeks to not even getting 30 points. 

My final swindle win (of this time period) was with 46 points, and I know people talk about high handicappers winning everything, it’s just not true, it’s just when we do win we have BIG scores so it’s very noticeable, but our inconsistency is just as wild. 

I'm someone who's never had imposter syndrome, I just believe I belong everywhere. However, on the golf course I was finding that my confidence was often dented, at times I really wasn’t enjoying it at all. And through this space of low confidence I played some amazing courses and can’t wait to go and enjoy them fully; Walton Heath (not a fan of the heather), Prince's championship courses (played all three, love links golf), Brocket Hall - Palmerston course (stunning views) Carnoustie (I understand the whole Carnastie thing!), Old Course, St Andrews (really enjoyed that one and played as well as I could in that time), Kingsbarns (played in storm Babet, wouldn’t recommend that, however stunning, stunning course).

I also played Essendon, Knebworth and Foxhills. As well as a charity round for SANDS, which was 18 courses in ONE day, played a hole at each. That wasn’t my idea but I got to see many courses around north London and Hertfordshire and we could have done more.

How did I get to play the Scotland courses? A kind invitation from Connoisseur Golf and Black British Golfers, as I kept saying I’ve played courses well above my golf paygrade, but that's what the handicap system is for and I felt very appreciative for the opportunity.

For some reason, I inexplicably decided to play a medal when at a low confidence ebb. Let’s just say when I thought I couldn’t feel lower, the medal helped me to limbo under that feeling. I’d scored about 30 by the fifth hole, just lost it completely. That sent me spiralling for a bit.

BUT, I’m back. Kind of, I'm playing steadier than I have for ages. But I need to get some of my clubs working with me again, it’s all a confidence game and I need to get that back with my driver. I’m learning to try and work with the game I have, driver not playing ball? I’ve gotten pretty decent with my irons off the tee. It’s been a season of really digging deep, sticking with it and coming out the other side. 

And how could I forget my first mixed-pairs match play in the nation's cup at my club. My partner and I, both new to the club, played some seasoned match players. We managed to lead for 15 holes and then ended up all square, which was pretty gutting. We both melted at the same time which was massively unhelpful. But, I sunk the putt at the end that led to us being all square and not losing on the 18th. 

It's been an exciting season. I've really, really enjoyed it. There have been some frustrations along the way. I think the more that I play golf is the more that I have questions about some of the culture around it. I can see why people stop because of it, but I want to see what I can achieve with my handicap and that spurs me on. I’ve come down 15 shots this season, so I am pleased with that, but I want to go further.  

I'm going to call this year a success. Even if my perfectionist mind wants to look at all the things I didn't manage to do because I wanted to get a bit lower. I’m proud I’ve stuck with it. Now time to limber up for the mixed pairs winter knockout, I’ve only gone and partnered with the men’s club champion. Watch this space.