I’m A Grown Man. Why Am I Being Told What Tees To Play Off?

In life, nothing is certain, apart from death, taxes and golf clubs complicating things that should be so easy to get right.

Not long ago, I went down to the south-west of England for a three-round, two-day golf trip. Ahead of my four-ball’s first outing -– at a club that shall remain nameless – we looked over the course planner and teeing options, assessed how many shots we’d receive off each set and put a plan in place.

However, when we got to the first tee, only one set of tees was out and there was a sign indicating that today’s tees were purple.

Today’s tees? Why is that even a concept? Why are grown men and women being told what to do when there are multiple different options on the card to choose from?

Even if you’re not planning on putting in a card, you should be able to choose the set of tees that provides the most enjoyment for your group.

I know it might seem like a small thing to some, but a club figure arbitrarily picking a set of tees has a tangible impact on those playing the golf course that day.

I’ve tried to see things from the other perspective and I genuinely can’t come up with any reason why this practice is still in existence. The only one I considered momentarily was course conditioning and giving certain areas of the tee box a rest, but surely the more options you give people, the more you spread out the footfall?

I’ve encountered three problems in this realm over the last year or so. Firstly, I was told I couldn’t play off the whites because they were reserved for members’ competitions only.

Secondly, I was told I had to play off the tees of the day – a mixture of the whites and yellows. How on earth are you supposed to handicap that? Thirdly, I couldn’t play off my desired tees because they hadn’t been put out.

All three of these clubs offer a significant number of non-member tee times, so why are they acting like private members’ facilities?

I can just about understand why some closed-off clubs would have tees of the day (even if I still find it somewhat baffling), but if you accept a green fee, surely you have to allow people to choose what tees to play off?

Plans out the window

It’s not 1990 anymore – times have changed. Nomadic golfers have handicaps and most of them want to put a card in every time they play, but they never seem to come into the thinking. Add into the mix disproportionately high green fees and it’s hard not to feel taken advantage of at times. It’s frustrating.

It could also result in reduced business for these facilities in the future as nomads look elsewhere for clubs who allow them to pick the tees that most suit them and their needs.

In the south-west, all our pre-made plans went out the window when we got to the first tee. We looked at the yardage and shot allocation from the only tees we were permitted to play off and we all decided we now didn’t want to put cards in.

Why? Because they were only 200 yards shorter – on a very firm day – and we lost multiple shots on the course handicap relative to our handicap indexes.

Given it was a new course for all of us, the odds simply didn’t stack in our favour. If we were allowed to choose our teeing ground, however, we all would have put cards in.

As it happened, I shot a 77 – one of the best rounds of my life – but it didn’t go on my handicap record. Some will say nomads should put cards in every round, and it’s actually something I used to do.

But sometimes, your shot allocation off the yellow tees is lower than you feel it should be. I’ve written about this countless times. If golfers feel they’re getting fewer shots than they should, they’re not going to put cards in very often.

For the World Handicap System to function as effectively as it should, we need golfers to be putting in as many cards as possible. But once again, the sport is shooting itself in the foot by taking decision-making out of paying customers’ hands.

Modern golfing culture is sometimes incongruous with common practices of yesteryear. This reality needs to be acknowledged and acted upon.