I Played 18 Holes With 3 Men… And Exposed The Biggest Flaws In Their Golf Game

I played golf in a corporate fourball recently with three guys I’d never met before. After launching my tee shot down the middle of the 17th fairway (the last hole was a par-3, so no need for a driver) one of them said out loud, sarcastically: “Do you ever miss a fairway?”

The same chap had played three off the tee no fewer than six times that day. His male ego had refused to allow him to put the driver away, even though he was clearly struggling with the big stick. Using a fairway wood, hybrid or even an iron instead would have undoubtedly saved him a huge number of shots (and lost balls) but he stubbornly refused to accept that he couldn’t hit his driver straight that day.

The horrid hook he kept producing was unbelievably destructive. His hands just couldn’t control the clubface direction and he was swinging at top speed. All school boy errors. Had he simply slowed his swing down, focused on rhythm and balance, tried to find a flow and concentrated on catching the ball out of the middle of the clubface, he would have had infinitely more success.

I found nearly every fairway that day by harnessing my skill of control over power. It’s why I stood on the 17th tee two over par, and had it not been for a couple of near misses on a few short putts, nearly level par. This poor chap, on the other hand, had dropped dozens of shots. I’m not saying that my golf is as good as a professional - far from it. But I know how to manage my way around the golf course to shoot a steady score and it’s something a lot of men could learn from.

Take risk versus reward decisions for instance. If there’s a chance I can drive a short par-4, but missing the green means going into great trouble, I rarely go for it. I’d always choose the safer option to lay up and find the fairway, leaving a short approach shot into the green and still a birdie putt.

Too many guys I see take on the ‘hero’ shot. The big hit that if pulled off will be a talking point in the 19th hole over a pint, but if the target is missed it’s an uphill battle to score well. Best case scenario, the ball is found in trouble and they have to hack out. Worse case - lost ball - reload. A scorecard wrecker.

I’m not trying to offend every man that’s ever stepped foot onto the first tee with a driver in hand, determined to make it work that day, no matter what. There are plenty of brilliant male players who swing the driver very fast and can control their tee shots like Rory McIlroy, but most recreational male players can’t. The faster they swing the more they struggle. And that’s where you can learn a lot from playing golf with women.

We don’t have the natural genetic makeup to swing with the same ferocious speed and therefore rely on a more rhythmically flowing golf swing, good technique and timing, along with other elements of our game to score well. With the exception of the Nelly Korda and Charley Hull’s of this world who have done so much gym work, speed training and have refined swing techniques from hours hitting balls at the range that they can drive the ball a long way, there’s virtually no ‘grip it and rip it’ mentality behind any woman I play with. When we walk onto the tee we’re simply trying to find the fairway, not hit it out of sight.

Like many low single figure females, my strength has always been the way I can navigate around the golf course cleverly. I take time to think about my club choice and the best way to keep the ball in play to maximise my chances of finding fairways and hitting every green in regulation. When I miss a green (because I’m only human, not a repeatable robot) I have really worked on my short game skills to get up and down and save my par.

I also know when to take my medicine. If I get into trouble I always use a sensible club like a lofted wedge to just get the ball back out into play. No matter how hard I’ve tried to convince my 12-year-old son to copy me, he still makes silly club choices out of the rough, insisting that he can pull off an incredible recovery shot with a club that’s not really designed to do that job. Nine out of ten times it fails, but I can see the fun it gives him trying.

In many ways, some men never grow out of this mindset. They play golf in the same child-like manner that rewards them one in every 10 attempts. I’m not saying that this is the wrong approach, I’m just saying that if you took the time to play golf with women occasionally then you’ll probably notice the subtle differences. The sensible approach we take helps us score better.

There are men who avoid playing golf with women because we’re shorter hitters and we play off the forward tees. This gives us an unjustified reputation for slow play because we don’t hit the ball as far. But the guys who play golf with me for the first time, not knowing my game, nearly always walk off the final green pleasantly surprised. Although I don’t hit the ball as far as them, I’m certainly not slow and they’re usually in awe of the skills I’ve demonstrated during my round that have allowed me to score low.

The experience of playing with normal women like me is definitely something I think all men could benefit from. I’m not just blowing my own trumpet. I experience it every time I join a men’s fourball. So next time a woman asks to join your group, take them on. Watching the way we swing, the shot-making skills we’ve had to develop to rely on scoring well and our sensible approach to navigating tricky holes could actually be worth copying.